And The Heart is Right

In 6 days, I will be starting a new job. Some people, friends from my previous company, said that it was an emotional decision, that I should give it a second thought before decide to quit. I wasn’t sure my self back then. I did have an indecisive moment for a couple of weeks. It only now, almost two months after I made the decision, I can tell for sure that it wasn’t an emotional decision. What I made is simply listening and following my heart, and trust that all will be fine.

In January, I was asked to work on a project that I wasn’t feel to take. So strong the feeling that I once considered to submit my resignation letter that day. It was a project that I was working 5 years ago, with the same customer. Doing it now all over again would be like throwing my career 5 years back, something that I really can’t take in any rightful thought.

Not long after that, I got a job offer from another company. It was incidental. The HR of this company called me, asking if i would be interested to join them, without even asking for my CV. I said “Why not?” so I started the interview process and got an offer. This company is bigger, and doing more kind of business. It would be a place people will proud to work at, and I was offered promotions with better benefits. All is perfect, except for one thing: the office is much further from my home. This means that i will spend more significant amount of time to commute. And this company is notorious for long working hour. All of this means that I will have less time with my family.

I was torn between spending more time with my family, or to get out of the project. I talked to my manager about the project, to which he replied that my assignment will only be temporary. Something tells me that it might not be true, that I will be stuck in the project unless I quit. To stay in this company will means that I woke up in the morning for months to come, asking myself why I’m doing all this. The only purpose is to earn a living, to put food on the table. I have no purpose on doing the project. I might even regret myself not to try another chance at another company.

If I decide to stay, the project will slowly kill my soul by draining my energy. And without any passion and purpose to recharge, it will happen in no time. I feel it once already. I will have more time with my family, but without any soul, without energy left for my family. It will be time without quality. At that moment, I know what is right, and submit my resignation letter.

During my 2 weeks break, it become clearer that my decision to leave is right. I was told a lot of escalation to get my friend, a singaporean, to stay in the project. The same thing will happen to me if I decided to stay. They face some challenge with my friend, because he is a foreigner, and our Singapore office want him back. But if I stay, they will have no problem putting me back in the project.

Somehow the heart has already know. It can see the invisible, hear the right message among the noise. For example, two days before I submitted my resignation letter, I asked my boss about my future career in this company. He told me a lot of things, overseas assignment, another project, and so on. It sounds promising, but something inside my heart says that it is all wrong. It is only today that I can tell what is wrong. It was all text book answer, the kind that you can find in manager for dummies book if they really sell it. And the heart knew it already back then.

Do listen to your heart, and most of the time, it is correct. It knows already, seeing and hearing the fact far before the brain can process.

So I Quit My Job

On 15 of March 2012, I submitted my resignation letter, officially ending my 3 years tenure with this company. It was as a result of series of event that happens in such perfect timing. Let me start with my expectation towards my manager.

Moving to my current company as an experienced person, I only have 2 expectation from my manager. And none of this relates to money. First, I want to be measured by result . I believe that each individual has their own way to do things, and as long as it didn’t contradict the code of conduct, I should be free to do they way I want it to be done.

Second thing, I want to do the work for a reason. I am not applying for militaristic way of working, in which you have to do things because somebody told you so, no question asked, no negotiation. I’m upholding this 2 principles and get along quite well in the last 3 years, until ealier in 2012.

I was asked to work on a project that I has done before. Doing this project is basically throwing me 5 years back in my profesional career. While initially I object and ready to quit the job, I came to my sense, and instead, emphasize on my experience to get job level adjustment. I push my way to the director of this company, only to get him violating my principle. And worse, he simply refuse to even review my level, simply because I haven’t prove to this company that I can do better. In other words, he nullify my previous 8 years experience.

At the lowest point, I got a call from another company, offering a position. I got several job offer few months back, which I turn down simply because I’m quite comfortable working at this company. The job is not perfect, but bearable up to this point. But when someone throw you 5 years back, and another open a door to move forward, the choice is very clear.

The interview process takes not too long. From my first interview until they make an offer took 1.5 months, and another 2 weeks of negotiation until we got an agreement. Time that is to short for the director to realize his mistake.

And when I submitted my resignation letter, it is already too late. I turn down his offer, which might be good enough before I make my decision. But when I make a decision, there will be no turnig back. On 30 April 2012, I will officially ending my career here to start at a new place

Baby Ethan 7 Weeks Old: The Toothless Smile

It was a tough week for our family. The 40 days doula service that we hired has completed. At the same time my work at the office has picked up as we are in 2nd week after new year. I was practically arrived at home after 9pm, leaving Grace to handle most of Ethan’s needs.

Then on Thursday morning, Grace message me: “Baby Ethan has smiled on me 4 times this morning”. I read the message while having grim face of our dear customer during a contract negotiation.

Friday evening, i got home at 10pm, glad that finally the week is over. Baby Ethan was half asleep in his crib. He saw me when I walked up, and there they are….. The big smile for me with a coo. “hi”, probaby that what he tried to say.

The smile of Baby Ethan filled our whole weekend. We would put him on his seat, or on our lap when he is content. And when we smile at him, he will give that toothless smile back to us, to our heart’s content.

Happy 7 week Baby Ethan

Stay Young, Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish

“Stay hungry, stay foolish”. The words written at the back cover of the whole earth catalog made an impression on me from Steve Jobs’ commencement speech at Stanford in 2005. It reminds me to keep hungry to try new thing, to be foolish enough to make mistake and learn from it.

Giving it a further thought brings me back to the time during college and early career. As a college student, I must admit that I don’t really thought about the future. Having fun, and skipping class was what I did together with friends. It was only luck that brings me an opportunity to become lab assistant. I was thinking “why not? I can do this”. It is through this channel that brought my first job, from which I grow my career today.

During my early career, the thought of having my own income allow me to try new things that I always want to do. I took scuba diving course, went diving as far as my income allows. From fellow scuba diver that I was introduced to the biggest food and travel community in Jakarta. This allows me to try another thing, to go to the most secret dining place in Jakarta, and expose me to the world of independent travelling. And fate introduce me to a woman, which now become my wife.

My college time and early career has a similarity: it was done with a young mind. It is pure, not yet contaminated by office politic nor makind ends meet. It is hungry for experience, and foolish enough not to afraid making mistake, and learn from it.

I wish myself these thing in 2012: stay young, stay hungry, stay foolish. Happy new year 2012

Baby Ethan 6 Week: Chasing the boy to sleep

I did imagine that one day, we will be busy chasing our son to sleep. We just never thought that it will come as early as 6 week.

Each night, baby Ethan is always hard to calm. Grace feed him both side of the breast, and he still want some more. Fortunately, we have some breasmilk pumped before, and Baby Ethan can easily finish 60-80cc before finally calm down. It will then took a few swaying before he finally pass out.

“Blame it to growth spurts”, some people said. Others even write that during growth spurts, his muscle was pulled, which might be painful. At least, all the feeding has a result when Baby Ethan was back to his regular check: he made a new record for one week weight gain.

Happy 6 week Baby Ethan

2011 in a Glimpse

Looking back to as far as I can remember, 2011 probably the year when I feel BLESSED and FULL. As if, moving into 2012, I couldn’t ask for more. If given the chance, I don’t know what to ask for more in 2011.

The highlight of 2011 is definitely our son, Ethan Samuel Chandra. Around same time last year, 1 January 2011, I and Grace was sitting on our bed, writing our wishes for 2011. Then sometime in April, Grace came to me with a piece of paper: “I’m going to have a new job”. I took the paper, hoping to see an offering letter, only to find a word “POSITIVE”. After a bumpy ride in Grace’s tummy, our son was born on 26 November 2011, as our early Christmas Present.

The pregnancy, and ultimate delivery of our son has made us travelling less in 2011 compared to 2010. Before Grace was pregnant, we traveled to Singapore in March. In May, 3 month pregnant, we traveled to Bali although we have to change the plan for Grace to take her Scuba Diving Lesson. Instead, we traveled down inside Bali to Lake Batur, and spend a great night there.

On the 2nd half of 2011, we practically stay in Jakarta, except for a short trip to Bandung to attend a wedding. Despite of less travel completed this year, we have manage to earn more on our travel blog, dawnabroad.com. We accepted 2 sponsored post, and plus increased hit on our ads has made 2011 as exceptional year in our travel blogging.

Being pregnant doesn’t stop Grace from being active in her culinary world. Through our blog jivekitchen.blogspot.com, Grace was invited to some product launch, the most notable one is Starbucks VIA. Nearing the end of the year, Grace was invited an contributed to annual edition of Femina Magazine. Together with 3 other food blogger, Grace write about her favorite food across the nation.

  

Almost one month before the born of our son, I overshoot my original goals in 2011 about running. What I wrote in January 2011 is to finish a 10 k race, and in 30 October 2011, I finished my first half marathon. That is, 21 km in one single run. Looking back in 2010, 20 km is my mileage in one month!

The year 2011 close swiftly when, just few days before year ends, we receive winning announcement of a bid that we have worked since end of 2010.

Less than one left before 2011 become yesterday, and 2012 become today. We are looking forward to 2012, and wishing it to be another successful year. HAPPY NEW YEAR

Baby Ethan’s 1st Month

Those who said that time flies as the baby grow definitely not the parents of the baby. However we grateful that our baby has reach 1 month old, time was definitely not flying.

Since the beginning of his 4th week, Baby Ethan has been very fussy. It took a great deal of effort and time just to bring him to sleep at night, only to last for maximum of 1 hour. For 2 days, we practically wake up every hour, sing and carry him around the house, and feed him.

We were practically left with little energy to really plan out Baby Ethan’s first month celebration. Fortunately for us that in the critical time, our parents took charges in all of the preparation. We did convey our plan, and our parents made it to reality with such beautiful cake

All the fussiness probably relate to Baby Ethan’s increased awareness to the surrounding. We began to play a game in his 4th week. Baby Ethan was calm and seated in his baby seat. If we make some noise, and move slowly from his left to his right, he will move his head following our movement. It is definitely a great joy that finally, we can interact to Baby Ethan.

The much awaited Christmas has finally came, and the day after, 26 December 2011, we celebrated the first month of our son, Ethan Samuel Chandra. It is just a small lunch with our extended family. Everyone marvel at the changes in Baby Ethan within one month.

And for the first time, we have a family picture. Happy 1 Month Ethan Samuel Chandra

Tentang ASI, Susu Formula dan Dot

Beberapa minggu sebelum kelahiran Baby Ethan, kami menghadiri beberapa kelas laktasi. Tujuan kami cuma 1: Kami ingin memberikan ASI Eksklusif selama 6 bulan untuk Baby Ethan. Agak kaget dan bingung juga, soalnya menyusui itu harusnya alami, yang dilakukan oleh seluruh mamalia dalam rantai evolusi kita. Tapi ya, memang kenyataanya begitu, kalau mendengra cerita konsultan dan sesama peserta yang anaknya sudah lahir.

Dari semua masalah, ada 2 hal yang menurut saya menarik: soal susu formula dan soal penggunaan artificial nipple, atau yang lebih populer dengan dot. Berikut pandangan saya mengenai kedua hal tersebut setelah Baby Ethan berusia 2 minggu.

Tentang Susu Formula

Melihat iklan-iklan susu formula sungguh sangat meyakinkan. “Dipekaya oleh DHA, ARA, gizi seimbang”, kurang lebih begitu. Siapa sih yang nggak ingin anaknya sehat dengan memberikan gizi seimbang?

Lalu, kenapa kami masih bersikeras dengan ASI? Pertanyaan saya cuma 1: Kita ini anak manusia atau anak sapi? Anak saya sih anak manusia, jadi dia minum susu manusia, bukan susu sapi.

Kembali ke kelas Laktasi yang kami ikuti, beberapa memang sangat keras anti dengan susu formula. Sebegitu kerasnya sampai saya pun mulai berpikir: Apakah memang susu formula segitu buruknya? Kalau memang buruk, kenapa tidak dihentikan sajah penjualannya oleh pemerintah?

Jawabannya saya temukan setelah Baby Ethan berusia 5 hari. Baby Ethan lahir dengan Hypoglycemia, kondisi dimana gula darah terlalu rendah akibat produksi insulin yang terlalu tinggi. Hal ini akan menghilang seiring perkembangan bayi, namun untuk menjaga agar gula darah tidak terlalu rendah dan menyebabkan kerusakan syaraf, Bayi Ethan harus minum lebih banyak. Karena produksi ASI masih baru mulai, dan daripada memberikan sirup gula yang notabene tidak ada gizi-nya, maka kami pun memberikan susu formula kepada Bayi Ethan.

Hingga saat ini, hanya sekali itu Baby Ethan pernah mencicipi susu formula. Dan untuk kami, susu formula menyelamatkan Baby Ethan. Apabila susu formula dilarang di produksi, mungkin Baby Ethan sudah tidak ada dalam gendongan kami sampai hari ini.

Susu formula bukanlah sesuatu yang jelek. Namun susu formula BUKAN pengganti ASI. Susu formula harus dilihat sebagai suplemen apabila dibutuhkan. Hal ini menjadi salah apabila Susu Formula dilihat sebagai pengganti ASI untuk menyediakan gizi yang lebih lengkap kepada bayi.

Tentang Dot

Hal kedua yang tabu dalam kelas laktasi yang kami ikuti adalah dot, empeng, dan sejenisnya. Alasannya sangat masuk akal: Dot, sebagaimanapun canggihnya, sangat berbeda dalam hal pengeluaran susu. Secara panjang lebar dijelaskan di sini.

Namun lagi-lagi, dot adalah penemuan untuk memudahkan kita, yang tidak perlu ditabukan. Yang harus dihindari adalah pemikiran bahwa dot ini bisa menggantikan puting, atau bahkan lebih baik dari puting.

Baby Ethan dilahirkan melalui operasi cesar karena alasan medis. Pasca operasi, sang ibu harus berkutat dengan masalah pemulihan operasi, dan memenuhi kebutuhan Baby Ethan yang perlu disusui lebih sering dari bayi-bayi biasanya karena masalah hypoglycemia yang sudah saya tulis di atas. Rasanya si ibu akan stress dengan hal-hal ini, dan stress bisa menghambat produksi ASI. Sebelum lingkaran setan ini terjadi, kita harus berbuat sesuatu.

Salah satu bantuan dari keluarga adalah untuk memberikan susu ASI Perah ke Baby Ethan. Tapi cara yang terbaik menggunakan sendok atau feeding cup tidak dikuasai semua orang. Bahkan orang tua kami berkata: “Mana bisa bayi baru lahir minum dari gelas atau sendok”

Masalah kedua adalah waktu. Memberikan 50cc  ASI melalui sendok atau feeding cup makan waktu hampir 1 jam, sedangkan dengan dot hanya kurang lebih 5-10 menit. Hidup di Jakarta, dimana waktu adalah segalanya, kadang membuat cup feeding atau sendok menjadi kurang efisien.

Pada akhirnya, kami kembali pada tujuan bahwa, yang penting Baby Ethan mendapatkan ASI. Apabila waktu lagi panjang, seperti pada akhir pekan atau di malam hari, saya dengan sabar memberikan ASI Perah dengan feeding cup. Tapi di pagi hari, ketika ibu terlalu lelah karena Baby Ethan rewel sepanjang malam, terkadang saya menggunakan dot.

Kami melihat dot bukanlah sesuatu yang tabu, atau sebagai pengganti puting, tapi alat bantu disaat kami sedang dikejar waktu. Di lain waktu? Baby Ethan tetap menyusui dari si ibu.

Setiap bayi, 1 hari, 1 minggu, 1 bulan atau lebih, merupakan individu yang unik. Tidak ada suatu metode pun yang bisa diterapkan pada bayi. Dan setiap keluarga yang baru memiliki bayi akan memiliki masalah sendiri. Pada akhirnya toh, kita menginginkan anak yang sehat, entah menggunakan campuran susu formula, atau menggunakan dot.

Baby Ethan 2nd Week Update

Dear Family & Friends,
It has been 2 weeks since we have our new family member, Ethan Samuel Chandra. We must say that it is a great relieve that finally we can stay at home over the weekend, after Ethan was discharged from hospital last Sunday.

The 2nd week has been another learning process for all of us, as well as full of exciting moment. Last Thursday, I woke up at 7:30 and find Baby Ethan already quite alert. Upon looking at my face, Baby Ethan start making some noise to attract my attention. I relent, and cradle him downstairs, where I usually have my breakfast. I must admit that preparing even a simple peanut butter toast was tough with one hand cradling a baby.

I start eating while watching TV, and Baby Ethan, in my cradle, was fixing his eye to my face. Not long until Baby Ethan start “munching”, moving his lips as if he is chewing something in his mouth. Of course, nothing in his mouth, he was just mimic my lip while eating the hard-earned peanut butter toast.

Baby Ethan has also slowly have his own schedule. If on the first week, we have to wake him up for feeding, in the 2nd week Baby Ethan will wake up by himself most of the time for feeding. Well, sometime we did have to wake him up, and he is still as sleepy head as ever. He also less fussy in the evening, and more alert during the day. Speaking of being alert, he is now not only crying when he is awake, but also observing. Probably we the parents have to start to watch our manner in front of him .

Baby Ethan would like to announce himself that he is now 2 weeks old, so we attach his picture in this email. It was taken this morning, exactly 10 days of Baby Ethan. From his face, you can tell that we did have a great time, and we certainly wish you a great time as we all prepare for Christmas and New Year.

Sincerely,
Benny – Grace – Ethan

PS: We haven’t have a chance to say thank you to everyone who has come to share our joy in the past 2 weeks, and for the present for Baby Ethan. So, allow us to say A BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE

The Crazy Ones

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.

The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.

About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward.

Maybe they have to be crazy.

How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

We make tools for these kinds of people.

While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.